CAKE

So many good things about baking cakes on a Sunday.

Look how pretty!  And I have all these cake stands and I got to use some of them!

These cakes are not from a box (!) and as a result the verdict was that they were “not too sweet” which was a positive quality indeed.  All the ingredients are like real things that you can identify like flour and sugar and milk.  Except for the decorative frosting on top.  I’M ONLY HUMAN.

I multiplied the cake recipe by 1.5 to make one regular cake and 12 cupcakes, so here’s the regular recipe that makes one cake or 24 cupcakes.

YELLOW CAKE

Ingredients:

2 sticks unsalted butter – left out at room temp so they’re pretty soft (plus some to shmear on the pans)
2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour (plus some to knock around on the pans)
1 1/2 teaspoons baking soda
1/4 teaspoon baking powder
1 1/2 cups sugar
2 teaspoons vanilla
3 large eggs (they say at room temperature, which I did, but I’m not sure how much of a diff it makes)
1 cup whole milk

What You Do:

Preheat your oven to 350.  Butter the pan and dust with flour, tapping out the excess.  (For cupcakes, just throw those cupcake cups in the pan and leave it at that.)  In a medium bowl, whisk together the flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt and save it for later.  Also, you need an electric mixer for this.  You can probably use an electric hand mixer, but I used my Married Person Kitchenaid Stand Mixer because I’m married and married people have these things.  Okay so you put the butter and the sugar in the mixer and you whip it up on high until it’s fluffy.  Then the vanilla and then the eggs one at a time, mixing it up good.  The you turn the mixer down to low and add the flour mixture and the milk.  The recipe (it’s from Real Simple but it’s not online for some reason) says to like alternate between the flour and the milk going like flour, milk, flour, milk, flour.  I didn’t read ahead far enough in the recipe so I just put the flour in slowly and then the milk in slowly.  I don’t think it fucked anything up too badly.  You know?  Like, whatever!  It’s YOUR CAKE.  Also, a very annoying detail of the recipe says “mix until combined DO NOT OVERMIX” with no explanation of what overmixing would look like.  I’m pretty sure I overmixed.  Whatever!  Then you put the batter in the pan and you bake it until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean.  I used a sharp knife because I didn’t have toothpicks (where have all the toothpicks gone?).  Start checking it at like 22 minutes for a full cake and 15 minutes for cupcakes.  I just cooled them in the pans mostly because I don’t have cooling racks.  I think I should get some cooling racks…

Then I put some frosting on top of them!  Oh also, for the cake I made a strawberry filling.  The cake is yellow cake, strawberry filling, and vanilla frosting.  The cupcakes are yellow cake with chocolate ganache on top.

First, the chocolate ganache recipe, which I thankfully read ahead of time because it says it takes like 4 hours of sitting on your table for it to set enough to be spreadable.  Annoying!  Baking is kind of annoying, you guys.

CHOCOLATE GANACHE

Ingredients:

1 pound semi-sweet chocolate
2 cups heavy cream
pinch kosher salt

What You Do:

Chop up the chocolate and put it in a medium bowl.  Put the cream and salt in a pan and cook it until it’s just simmering.  Pour the cream over the chocolate and let it sit for like 5 minutes or something, then mix it around until it’s combined.  Then put it on your damn counter for like 4 hours.  And they’re like DON’T PUT IT IN THE FRIDGE, IT’LL GET LUMPY.  Fine.  Fine.  Mix it every once in awhile if you want, I did, not sure it made a diff though, like I said before, IT’S YOUR CHOCOLATE GANACHE.

I put the chocolate ganache on top of the cupcakes.  It was the definition of not-too-sweet.  Delicious.

STRAWBERRY CAKE FILLING

Ingredients:

1 pound strawberries, hulled and halved (I think that means cut the green parts off and cut them in half – that’s what I did)
1/4 cup seedless raspberry jam (I used strawberry jam because I had it)
pinch kosher salt

Cut up your strawberries and put them in a food processor.  I’m starting to realize that these recipes require a lot of equipment.  Sorry!  Go get some equipment I guess?  Anyway, put your strawberries in the processor and add the jam and the salt and process it up!  That’s it.  Easy.

VANILLA FROSTING

Ingredients:

4 sticks unsalted butter (again, room temp)
1 pound confectioners sugar, sifted (haha, I did not sift it)
1 teaspoon vanilla
pinch kosher salt

Throw the butter in the electric mixer again, put the sugar in with it and combine them until the mixture is fluffy.  Add vanilla and salt.  Easy, again.  You do have to scrape the sides down a bunch but whatever.  And you have to mix it for awhile, like 10 minutes maybe?

Then take some store-bought writing frosting and write whatever the fuck on your cake.  I wrote FAMILY DINNER because we were having family dinner on Sunday so that’s when we ate the cake.

 

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3 Comments

Filed under Things

3 responses to “CAKE

  1. Mommy

    The cake plates look beautiful. I have to send these photos to the guy at the antique shop where I bought them. And pics of your wedding cupcakes on them. I never did that. He will be very happy.

  2. Billy

    Cake day was the best! Other good thing about married is you can have both kinds of cake instead of just one kind of cake like a regular person that has to worry about getting super fat and gross. ❤

  3. The Internet

    Cake looks nice. I’m not that into dessert though. How about some soup recipes?

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