Probably The Best Turkey Chili Anyone Has Ever Had

I had a big day of cooking and shopping and pretending I was a stay-at-home yesterday.  Full disclosure: it was actually really fun.  Take away my Feminist badge.  No, don’t.  Feminists can still cook and shop because that’s what we’ve been fighting for.  Or something.  I’ll get into the feminist thing some other time.  Right now, here’s a recipe for Probably The Best Turkey Chili Anyone Has Ever Had:

1 lb. ground turkey
1 medium onion
Some olive oil
2 cloves of garlic
14ish ounces of chickpeas, partially drained
14ish ounces of black beans, partially drained
14ish ounces of kidney beans, partially drained
1 smallish can of chipotle chilies, NOT DRAINED – KEEP THAT SAUCE, IT’S GOOD SHIT
1 28 ounce can of whole tomatoes, also not drained
Chili powder

Okay.  So take your onion and chop it up.  Throw some olive oil in a frying pan and turn up the heat.  Toss the onion in there.  Then throw the ground turkey in there and cook it till it’s not pink anymore.  Get out your crock pot and put the cooked turkey and onion in there.  Press the garlic (You don’t have a garlic press?  You should get one.  I use it like every time I cook.) and toss it in the crock pot.  Take the cans of beans and just open them and pour out the top part of the bean juice (ew).  Just like the top part though.  Keep some bean juice in there is what I’m saying.  Then put the rest in the crock pot.  This isn’t an exact science you guys.  So the recipe I was following was like “use 14.5 ounce cans of beans” but when I went to the store the 19 ounce cans were on sale for $.99 so I was like whatever, I’ll just use close to 14 ounces from the cans.  Okay.  Next step is the chipotle chilies.  Take out the chilies, chop them up a bit, a rough chop is fine, and put them in the crock pot.  Then put all the chipotle juice in there because it’s so goooood.  This will result in a chili that is spicy but totally wonderfully eatable.  Not so spicy that you’re like ouch.  Stop hurting me, food.  Spicy in flavor but without the major kick you get if it’s overloaded with chilies.  Okay.  Then take your big can of whole tomatoes and squeeze them through your fingers into the pot.  Careful not to squirt the tomato juice all over the place though!  That can get messy.  And pour the juice from the can in the pot too, it needs a fair amount of liquid in there because it’s going to cook for a long time.  Sprinkle in some chili powder, salt, and pepper and turn the crock pot on high for six hours.

In the meantime, make some cornbread maybe!  I followed this recipe that was pretty easy but ended up tasting a little dry so I’m not going to put it here.

Oh damnit!  I just realized I really should have taken some pictures to post of the amazing chili but I forgot to.  Bad blogger!  Bad!

I also made my paternal grandmother’s famous cream pies but they had to sit overnight so they’re not done yet.  And it was a trial run and I learned some valuable lessons about the cream pies – specifically regarding pie crusts – that I need to adjust before they are perfect.  My point is that I’m going to make them again (for Thanksgiving!) and I’ll try to remember to take pictures and post the recipe and pictures here so you guys can try it at home if you want!  Fun!

Also, I finally used the crock pot and stand mixer we got for wedding presents.  I was afraid I’d have to sell them on craigslist when I really get into my SIMPLIFY MY LIFE kick.  But that’s another post for another day.




Filed under Things

5 responses to “Probably The Best Turkey Chili Anyone Has Ever Had

  1. Billy

    Seriously that chilli was dope as shit. I want to make so many crocks now because of it!

  2. I am totally making this. And I think we need to start a club–Feminists Who Really Just Want to Cook/Bake All Day.

  3. receptionist

    Yes Annie! We can gather monthly for a potluck/recipe exchange and to discuss women’s rights in developing countries. We can raise money for women around the world by having bake sales and writing a cookbook OH MY GOD I’M GETTING SO EXCITED.

  4. I had to google ‘crock pot’ to fully understand this post!

  5. Auntie Nancy

    OMG, I loved my mother’s cream pies. Is that what you are making? With cherry or with blueberry topping? I LOVED her cream pies. Maybe you can make some for Christmas, too????

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