Today I started trying to write my vows. You guys, it’s really hard. Like really hard! Like as hard as when you look at your facebook profile and you’re like “Why this doesn’t accurately describe me at all! Let me edit my facebook profile to accurately describe everything about myself. I need to make sure this facebook profile reflects everything that makes me a beautiful and unique snowflake. Favorite movies. Put Harold and Maude in there. But temper it with Billy Madison because I am very unique. Oh wait I should also include a weird Pedro Almodovar movie because I am cultured. But not too pretentious! Agh! What a delicate balance!”
It’s like that only it’s actually way harder than that.
Why do I love my fiance?
I don’t know. Because?
Or should I not say why I love him? Maybe I should tell him what our marriage will mean to me.
What will our marriage mean to me?
I don’t know.
Or how about promises that I will make that are symbolized with this putting of rings on fingers and eating of cupcakes and dancing of Beyonces. What do I promise?
To… do… things… like… I don’t know, have babies? I promise to try to have babies probably.
See?! It’s really hard!
It’s hard because it’s like answering questions like “Why do you love breathing?” I don’t know. Because it’s the only option? What if I hated breathing? That would suck. What will our marriage mean to me is like “What will having your organs held inside your body by a system of bones and skin mean to you?” I don’t know what it will mean to me. I think it’s important for my continued existence.
What do I promise? To continue existing. To continue breathing and having my organs held inside my body by a system of bones and skin. I promise I’ll keep doing that. There isn’t really another option.