Drunk Movie Review: Volume 7

Up

Me:  I’m really excited to see this movie!  I love Pixar!

Billy:  Me too!  Pass the very unhealthy crab dip, please!

(Five minutes later)

Me: (sobbing) Oh god.

Billy: (sobbing) This movie is not for kids.

Me: (sobbing) Why are they doing this?  Why is this happening?

Billy: THIS MOVIE IS NOT FOR KIDS.

(Ninety minutes later)

Me: That was cute but I don’t know how I feel about it.  I feel a little used.

Billy: Girlfriend.  I’m so sorry for eating that crab dip.  I’m going to get healthy.  I don’t want to die and leave you alone to put a thousand balloons on your house and fly to Africa or something.  Also though, if you die first I will murder you.

Me: My eyes are so puffy and my nose hurts from snotting so much.  I’m not sure this movie was heartwarming enough to justify the puffiness of my eyes.

Three stars.

What are your thoughts on Up?  Heartwarming story of a lonely man finding a new zest for living or manipulative piece of emotional abuse a la Crash?

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4 Comments

Filed under Drunk Movie Reviews

4 responses to “Drunk Movie Review: Volume 7

  1. manipulative! sadder than bambi AND the lion king. like multitudes of sadder. which i had not before considered POSSIBLE. i will never watch it again – tooooooo sad!

  2. jaime

    i don’t understand why ellie had to die? why couldn’t the whole movie have happened after a little “scare” like maybe ellie got cancer but then she pulled through and they realized life was too short and they had to live out their dream right THEN! often times i don’t think movie plots really fully consider how they could make their movies a little less tear jerky and a little more family friendly. i mean i’m a little surprised they didn’t also include some cartoon puppies being beaten and that stupid sarah mclaughlin song they play during the animal abuse commercials, and also include onions with all purchases of the movie that must be sliced while watching the movie…just to absolutely guarantee tears.

  3. SOOOO sad! What is the deal? How was it a kids movie. I was so depressed afterwards I ate a bunch of ice cream. boo. Reid liked it. weirdo.

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