Professor On Phone: Is Robert* available?
Me: Unfortunately, no, he’s not available at the moment. Would you like to leave a voicemail?
Professor On Phone: I’m going to be in rehearsal all day tomorrow. Do you know when the best time to reach him would be?
Me: Well, it’s almost five, so maybe you can try to squeeze it in tomorrow. Or you can send him an email.
Professor On Phone: I don’t type. I’ll try to call him in the morning.
Me: Do you have a time machine? Did you go back to before computers existed? Or, forget computers, even typewriters! Are you visiting us from the pages of history? You don’t type? How are you using a telephone? Have you heard of ball point pens or do you use a quill? Do you ride one of those bikes with the giant front wheel and the tiny back wheel? TELL ME YOUR WAYS OH MYSTICAL MAN FROM THE PAST! What is Cleopatra like in real life?
(I know that Cleopatra joke kind of came out of left field but I just got off the phone with this jackass and I can’t contain my annoyance, it’s leaking into my joke-telling skills.)
*Name has been changed to protect the innocent.