Emily Liberis Not Sure What To Have For Dinner

I’m feeling a bit cranky about my services being underappreciated at work, per usual.  So I just went to the area by the water cooler to get a free piece of (stale) cake.  Took the cake back to my desk, and opened my email.  There, in my inbox, was an email from Us Weekly with the following subject line: Halle Berry on the Fence About Having More Kids.

First of all, I do not know why I am getting email updates from Us Weekly.  I am also receiving Us Weekly at home.  I did not pay for a subscription to Us Weekly, so that’s a mystery in and of itself.  I don’t know where it came from but I’m too lazy to call somebody to make it stop coming.  That said, this subject line was almost too much.  Halle Berry is on the fence about having more kids?  What the shit do I care?  The subject line might as well have said “Drew Barrymore Wears A Tee Shirt Sometimes” or “John Mayer Might Poop Today.”

Dudes.  I’m not interested.

And also, the cake did not taste good and only served to make me feel chubby.  Terrible rainy Monday.



Filed under Things

5 responses to “Emily Liberis Not Sure What To Have For Dinner

  1. Michael

    I really appreciate your contributions to the office. Also, for some odd reason, I get “Rolling Stone”, and I’m not happy about it. I mean, they think U2 is a great band, and they talk about music I’ve never heard and don’t want to hear. At least I don’t get emails from them.

    Oh, and for what it’s worth, I also wear a T-shirt sometimes.

  2. michelle gondry

    You should try Cakesters. They’re like Cake, if you they were put into a race car, you know a racester! They never leave you feeling anything but sunny. Sunny and warm.

  3. Mary

    John Mayer poops?! Stars really are just like us!!!

  4. receptionist

    He might poop, Mary. He might. But he’s on the fence about it.

  5. Billy

    Nice work – “Michelle Gondry might eat cakesters sometime soon”

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