Me: This movie is really funny! Why did Billy say it was only so-so?
(Twenty minutes of gratuitous and unreasonable violence later)
Me: This movie should have ended twenty minutes ago.
Me: I love Cher. Wait. Wait a minute. Wait. This movie is called Mermaids. There aren’t any mermaids in it? I thought it was going to be like Splash.
*I wasn’t actually drunk for the viewing of these movies, unless you count being drunk on advil and lower abdominal pain.