Sign Me Up for the J. Crew Mailing List

Hi friends,

It’s been awhile since I’ve posted because my boring job has turned into a slightly less boring, much more busy job.  I was given a large project by the Dean that involves a lot of stress and drama and phone calls to people who don’t want to talk to me.  Whatevs.  It’s a vote of confidence for me to be asked to do this so I’m pleased.

In other news, I wanted to tell you about my Yuppie Weekend.  This past weekend Billy and I behaved like disgusting yuppies and can I admit something?  I loved it.

On Saturday the weather was really lovely.  Sunny and crisp.  Billy was supposed to go to a wedding with a friend but due to a series of unfortunate events he was unable to make it.  He came home grumpy and demanded that we do something fun.  So I finished doing the chores I was doing and we set out on our bikes to Allandale Farm to buy some organic produce for dinner.  Yes.  Organic produce.  You heard me.

En route to the farm we had to stop.  Remember how I said that I cry when I overexert myself?  And how Billy is better than me at everything?  Yeah.

I have this really cute, wonderful bike that I got when I lived three miles from my office.  I got it to ride those three flat miles.  This bike is very cute, but very terrible on hills.  They told me this when I bought it.  And now, since we moved, we live in a super hilly area.  Not to mention the fact that I am not naturally athletic.  Even when I’m in really good shape I am slow and weak.  So.  We are riding along and every hill we come to forces me to struggle.  And Billy has no problem with it, he just circles me until I make it up the hill.  He’s not taunting me, even.  He just really likes riding bikes.  We get to the top of an especially ridiculous hill and I stop my bike and start crying.

(CAPITAL LETTER SIDE NOTE: I HAVE TO PEE REALLY BAD BUT I CAN’T GO ANYWHERE BECAUSE I AM THE RECEPTIONIST AND MY ASSISTANT IS IDLY ROAMING THE HALLS INSTEAD OF COVERING THE PHONES.  THE INJUSTICE OF MY JOB!  WOE IS ME!)

Anyway.  I cry for a few minutes, then get over it, get back on my bike, ride down to the bottom of this hill and there we are at the farm.  Good timing.

We bought apples and zucchini and some other stuff.  Then we rode to the cheese shop in the center of our little borough and bought three kinds of fancy cheese.  Then we went to the wine shop nearby, run by very charming people, one of whom is Irish, and bought some Pinot Noir.  Then we rode home and Billy cooked dinner.  If you told me two years ago that this was what my life was going to be I wouldn’t have believed it for a second.

Vomit, I know.

On Sunday we rolled out of bed and headed straight for Geoffrey’s, our favorite local brunch place.  It’s full of gays, that’s how you know it’s good.  Like picking a melon. (?)  Then we noticed lots of police officers milling around and road barricades being put up.  And we realized we had stumbled upon a parade!  So we found ourselves a grassy spot on a hill and settled in to enjoy the awkward teenage dance troupes and high school marching bands and, my personal favorite, The Worcester Men of Song (www.menofsong.org).  Then we went home and decoupaged a coffee table.

BEST WEEKEND EVER.

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1 Comment

Filed under Things

One response to “Sign Me Up for the J. Crew Mailing List

  1. Michael

    Several things:

    1. If you need to pee and no one else is around, ask me and I’ll cover for you.

    2. If you’re not driving a BMW and indirectly enslaving the Third World, you’re not a yuppie.

    3. Like picking a melon?

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