I have a problem with board games. Actually, group games in general. Actually, any game in which I am competing against any person, in any way. It didn’t used to be a problem because I’m a big sister and as such had the privilege of winning almost all games that I played as a child. This probably ruined me. Because now, Billy is better than me at EVERY GAME and it makes me want to claw my own eyes out. I’m sure this has something to do with him choosing to play games for a living and if given a choice between playing a game and doing ANYTHING ELSE, he will choose to play a game. Billy plays games because he likes them, whereas I like to play games because it illustrates how much better I am than other people. Except this doesn’t work when I lose games. Which is why I only like to play games I’m good at (read: trivia and… movie trivia).
The thing that makes me really angry, though, is that Billy is better than me at Scrabble. Which is annoying because I did really well on the English portion of the SATs. So. Come on. Right? I should kick ass at Scrabble. But I’m actually not very good at Scrabble. To be fair, Billy has played Scrabble way more than me, but come on! Can’t I be better than him at something? He’s so much better than me at math, computers, cooking, building shit, the list goes on and on!
Whatever, fuck Scrabble.
Also, I’ve been practicing so next time we play I will defeat him.
This competitiveness thing manifested itself in a very unbecoming way this weekend. Billy and I had a bunch of people over on Saturday to eat food that was bought with $175 worth of preferred customer coupons at Halfway Cafe and drink beer from a beer ball (like I said, class.) and giggle and play games. Everything was going really well for most of the evening. Everybody was hanging out in our awesome backyard and there was much giggling. Then everything changed when I had way too much to drink and we started playing Catchphrase with the whole group. Catchphrase is this little round, electronic doodad that functions as a hot potato and you play it sort of like $64,000 Pyramid. I really like this game and I am really good at it. It’s a team game so Billy and I are usually on the same team and we mop the floor with all competitors. This time, however, as the party was mostly made up of couples, we played girls versus boys. The girls team was sucking really bad and I was getting cranky. Eventually the boys team won and I yelled “LET’S PLAY AGAIN WITH NEW TEAMS! I DON’T WANT TO BE ON LAUREN’S TEAM BECAUSE SHE SUCKS!”
I had no recollection of this the next day so Billy had to tell me what happened. Which resulted in a long-winded text message to Lauren about how I was sorry for being such a bitch.
I’m cutting myself off from Catchphrase for awhile so I can reassess my priorities.