Vending Machine Wars

This is getting out of hand.  I am now experiencing a moral dilemma about the vending machines.

I skipped breakfast this morning because I wasn’t hungry yet.  I got to work and by 10:00 I was famished.  I took a dollar to the vending machines hoping to get a fruit-flavored Pop Tart, but there were only brown sugar Pop Tarts and chocolate chip Pop Tarts and also they cost $1.25 so that was no good.  I decided to go with a lame granola bar, put my dollar in, pushed the wrong buttons and got fruit snacks by accident.  On the machine it said fruit snacks cost $1.25 but instead of rejecting my choice the machine happily took my dollar, gave me fruit snacks, and gave me 95 cents change.  What?  There were so many things wrong with this scenario (not the least of which being that this was the most exciting thing to happen to me today).  I go back to my desk and show my assistant the offending fruit snacks.  I grab another dime so I can go back and buy a granola bar with the 95 cents change.  I head to the machine, put in $1.05, push the correct buttons and get a granola bar.  Success!  Then the machine gives me 95 cents change.  So I’m thinking, finally, I have beaten the vending machine!  I am the superior being!  This stupid machine is giving 95 cents change to everyone!  VICTORY!

The moral dilemma is: should I call vending services and get them to fix the machine that is spitting out extra change because it’s the right thing to do?  Or do I just relish my comeuppance against the vending machine?  Did I just misuse the word comeuppance?  No.  I have just checked.

I think I’m just going to use the vending machine as I would any other day and just see how this karma payback plays out.  Or… I’ll probably call vending services this afternoon, once the guilt gets to me.



Filed under Things

4 responses to “Vending Machine Wars

  1. Michael

    It’s the mechanical equivalent of schizophrenia.

  2. Mommy

    You should write a play about a vending machine that becomes humanized by the angst of the individuals that use it. Every day the machine looks out at people who are feeling guilt, shame, hunger, desire, thirst, pain and every other emotion that purchasing from a vending machine inspires. Hopelessness, that’s another one. Anxiety.
    Anyway, the machine is feeling bad and decides to start spilling it’s guts (metephorically, that is – did I just mis-use metaphorically – no just checked).

  3. Emily

    Or I could write a play about the eternal conflict between mother and daughter in which mother continuously tells daughter to “write a play about it” to which daughter continuously replies, with excessive anger “NO YOU WRITE A PLAY ABOUT IT!”

  4. Mommy

    Ok I will. You can be the vending machine…

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