Last Night

So I guess riding my bike around during my lunch break yesterday really took it out of me.  Because riding my bike home after work was SO HARD.  It’s really weird, some days it’s easy peasy to ride my bike to and from work.  It’s only three miles for God’s sake.  But then other days, like days when it’s humid or windy, it is the hardest thing to do in this history of hard things to do.  I never thought wind would have such a direct impact on bike riding.  It makes hills like five times harder to ride up and it makes flat surfaces like hills and it makes it so when I ride downhill it’s like riding on a flat surface.  I need those downhills, people.  They’re really fun.

Anyway, I got home and locked up my bike and sat on the front stoop for awhile to let my heart start beating normally again.  Then I decided I needed a cocktail.  What I really wanted was a giant plate of french fries, but Billy was coming home soon to cook me dinner and I didn’t want to ruin my appetite.  And also I’m making a feeble attempt to lose a few pounds before our vacation in 9 days (woo!).  So I thought a cocktail would be the perfect compromise.  And duh, hello accidentally drunk Emily.  It wasn’t so bad though.  It was more accidentally buzzed/tipsy Emily.  So I watched the last half of Gilmore Girls and two Rachael Rays.  Then Billy came home and made a really yummy pasta thing with sardines and onions and garlic and tomatoes.  And a great salad with Asiany dressing.  And fruit salad with balsamic vinegar and honey and spices and yogurt.  And I realized that I have the best freaking boyfriend in the entire freaking world.  He works way harder than me all day and then comes home and cooks me a fantastic three-course dinner.  I need to remember this if I ever complain about anything ever again.

ALSO WHILE WE ATE WE WATCHED THE BEST REALITY TV EVER.  Project Runway, if you were a human being I would marry you.  But I doubt you’d have me because you’d probably be a gay man so I would offer to be the surrogate mother to your child with your partner, who is probably Latin.  And after Project Runway, Wife Swap.  Oh Wife Swap.  It is so good.  It’s really awkward and funny and heartwarming and trashy and I love it dearly.  I used to be morally opposed to reality TV because I said that it was taking jobs away from actors who have a hard enough time as it is.  But I’ve gotten over that.  Nothing will ever make it easier for actors.  Except quitting.  Quitting acting makes being an actor so much easier.

Also, I quit acting.

But I have an audition in September.

But I don’t care about it.  I don’t even want to be in The Heidi Chronicles.

But if they cast me I’ll do it in a second.  For free.

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