1. There is a girl who works in my office who is younger than me, engaged to a guy who goes to Harvard Law School (he proposed in Paris), and so well-dressed it is infuriating.  And she’s nice.  Grrrrr.

2. Khaki cargo shorts:  It is a scourge upon the men of my generation.  The offending shorts are always knee length, beige, with very large and heavy-looking cargo pockets on both legs.  They make everyone who wears them look like they’re smoking the pot.  The cargo pockets are almost always empty but somehow they look full.  What could be in there?  It is a den of secrets, the cargo pocket.  And I get lip about a purse.  Come on.  You have cargo pockets.  And you look like you just took a dump in your terrible shorts.  The least you can do is pull them up.

Now these are nice:

3. If I ever want to look halfway decent in a bathing suit I’m going to have to come to terms with the fact that I’ll need to be a little bit hungry all the time.  People who look good in bathing suits either have freakish metabolisms or are a little bit hungry all the time.  Or maybe people who look good in bathing suits don’t just eat any old time they feel like eating.  Or maybe they don’t have boyfriends who say annoying things like “you’re perfect the way you are” and “let’s make nachos.”  Regardless, we’re going on vacation in two weeks so I’m spending the time leading up to said vacation on a diet (read: hungry).  No late night nachos!  Slightly less beer!  No eating to the point of pain!  No!  I will have self control!  I am strong!  Maybe instead of beer I’ll start drinking martinis!  Will power hooray!


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